Our Recent Loss

I have been deeply saddened by the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg/RBG.  I’ve found my self struggling with despair and feelings of hopelessness.  She was such a force for good in the world and, although imperfect, played such a crucial role in protecting the rights of women, and of all people, for so many decades.   The prospect of the current President making another Supreme Court appointment is staggering.

Up from despair
Two days after her death I was committed to participating in a presentation that included both climate disasters and effective climate action. Those of us on the presentation team were forced to pick ourselves up, work together, and present with all the caring and vision we could muster.  The presentation was well received.  It also had an unintended effect on me.   It made me feel more alive again.  I wasn’t done with my grief and despair, but I could move again.  Connecting with people and sharing a vision helped me re-focus — although we’ve lost RBG, we are called to continue the struggle for justice in which she so nobly fought.

My grandfather
I’ve been remembering the death of my maternal grandfather, many years ago.  He and my grandmother were from Ohio, but they had lived for many years in the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia and were very much a part of the community there.  I was a young boy when he died, but I still remember seeing my mother cry — something rare for her.  I also remember what seemed like an endless stream of people all bringing us homemade food.  There were casseroles, and cakes, and salads — macaroni, chicken, fruit, potato — lots of salads.  All had been lovingly prepared. 

Even though I didn’t know most of the people who brought them, I could sense their respect for my grandfather and their love for my grandmother, who had just been widowed.  As I look back on it I can see that these generous expressions of caring were good for my grandmother and mother, and were also good for the people who brought the food and often stayed to visit for a bit.  Some sense of being cared about washed over me as well.  I think that’s why I still remember it.  Both caring and being cared about help enable us to move forward in painful times.

While I don’t remember the details, I do remember that there was a lot of talk about my grandfather’s good qualities and the many things he had done that made a difference to people.  I knew him as a kindly grandfather, but my picture of him grew much larger listening in on those conversations. It made me want to emulate his generosity, caring, intelligence and hard work.  I’ve had this feeling at the funerals of other friends and relatives — that in appreciating and honoring the lives they had lived, we were together also finding what it was about their lives that could instruct and inspire our own.

Feel – care – act
As we react to the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and the far-reaching political implications it may have for the United States, I think we will do best if we can feel our sadness, despair, fear, or whatever else we may feel. Of course, we cannot stop there.  I hope we will all reach out to friends and associates and share what we are feeling and show our caring for what they are feeling.  It is not a time to be alone.  I hope we will also talk with them about what we admired about RBG and how we might take instruction or inspiration for our own lives from her and her life.  Then I hope we will rededicate ourselves to taking action for justice – whether it’s by working in an election campaign right now, or getting more involved in the movement for women’s rights, for racial justice, for climate justice, or in other struggles for human rights.

Quotes
I’ve found these quotes from the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg meaningful:

“Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time.”

“And when I’m sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court]? And I say when there are nine, people are shocked. But there’ve been nine men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.”

“To make life a little better for people less fortunate than you, that’s what I think a meaningful life is. One lives not just for oneself but for one’s community.”

“Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” 

“Women will have achieved true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation.”

“I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability.”

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Photo by Melissa Kroodsma.

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