Feelings

I read recently that the President of the United States is trying to open vast areas of protected coastal waters in the North Atlantic to drilling for oil and gas! ¹ This, when we need to “keep it in the ground”!  Any additional drilling will lead to further greenhouse gas emissions, creating ever more severe levels of climate catastrophe.  First it made me sad, and then I felt mad.

Then I got an email from Janet, a friend in Nairobi, reporting that the newspaper headline there said, “Grim Days Await Kenyans” because the traditional March to May rains that farmers depend on will not fall this year!  This is a result of climate change and of the climate change induced cyclone that killed so many in Mozambique, Malawi and Zimbabwe.  Janet, a native Kenyan, wrote, “It is a scary time as we face the possibility of running out of basic needs, especially food and water.”  I wanted to cry, and it made me feel scared for Janet and for millions of Africans.

It can be emotionally taxing to pay attention to climate change.

“But, I would feel bad”
Many people have told me they don’t really want to think about climate change because it will lead them to feel feelings they don’t want to feel.  They don’t want to be grief-stricken, scared, hopeless, full of rage, or feel powerless.  Yet it is virtually impossible to sustain attention on climate change without feeling at least some of these feelings.   They, and perhaps all of us, will need healthy perspectives on feelings, and consistent support to unload them, if we are going to sustain work on climate change. 

It’s natural to feel
First, I think we need to insist that feeling uncomfortable feelings is completely normal – an appropriate response to the times we are in.  There’s not something wrong with you, if your heart breaks when you face what climate change is doing to people around the world, and yet you decide to look at it anyway.  It is perfectly natural to feel scared or angry about climate news.

Secondly, we can decide that having to feel some difficult feelings is not going to stop us.  We can choose to feel them and keep going.  As bad as they are, they are a small price to pay for the chance to join with others in this historic struggle to keep the planet habitable.  In addition, opening yourself to feelings, means also getting to feel positive feelings such as happiness, love, and connection more fully.

Numbing and distraction?
There is a strong current in our society trying to convince us that we shouldn’t ever endure unpleasant feelings.  The message is, if you are feeling anything uncomfortable, you should take a pill, or distract yourself with watching sports, drinking, shopping, or overwork.  Rich and powerful people benefit when we stay numb rather than get fired up for justice.  We will benefit from reclaiming our right to have our full range of emotions.

One problem with trying to deny or stuff down our feelings of upset is that they tend to affect us anyway – making us less interested in joining with other people for causes we care about or less able to follow through on what we want to do.   Even at an unconscious level they can make us turn away from important issues, or alternatively lead us to being obsessively driven, and risk burn-out.  When people try to work together in groups, suppressed feelings can make it harder for people to work together, to support leaders, or to stay focused on important objectives.

Sources
The negative feelings that we have don’t just come from the latest upsetting news  about climate change or about political leaders’ refusal to deal with it effectively.  Facing the dire situation we are in with regard to climate change also brings up negative feelings from experiences much earlier in our lives.  We’ve all been hurt and damaged by oppression, disconnection and fear.  These accumulated emotional hurts limit our ability to be our best selves. They limit our efforts to build relationships, to work in concert with others, and to solve the biggest problems of our societies.  They can sap our hope, energy, and confidence; and leave us feeling alone, powerless and discouraged.

Healing from these emotional hurts is vital – for activists and for everyone else.

Lightening the Load – Healing
What I’ve learned over time is that the burden of painful feelings is lightened when we can tell a caring listener about them.  We can heal even further if we can cry, laugh, tremble, or express anger openly.  These are natural ways humans release painful feelings and heal.  We see these in infants all the time, yet we’ve been taught to suppress them as adults.  I was fortunate that in my late twenties I was introduced to the practice of exchanging listening with other people in pairs and groups so we can tell the stories of our past experiences, feel our feelings and release them through crying, laughing,  trembling, and expressions of anger. 

I found supportive partners for this in an international peer counseling network² and we regularly take turns listening attentively to each other.  But any two people can agree to listen to each other for this purpose – even five minutes each can make a difference.  More time being listened to, and listening to others, makes a bigger difference.  It doesn’t solve everything, but it does make it more possible to be our full selves in the face of big challenges.

Together we can listen to each other, support each other to have and feel our feelings, and care about each other.  Making space regularly to tell our stories and unload painful feelings with other people who care about climate change, can grow our numbers, multiply our effectiveness, and enable us to do the life-saving work of stopping climate change with greater love, connection, and power.

___________

1 A federal judge ruled in mid-March 2019 that President Trump’s action is unlawful, but the Administration is appealing that decision, still hoping to expand drilling.
2 Re-Evaluation Counseling.  More information is available at http://reevaluationcounseling.org/
Note: For perspectives on racism and feelings and more on using listening exchanges for healing please see “How to Begin Support Listening Sessions for Ending Racism“.